Hi mum , It’s jay your youngest baby! I just want to spend some time talking to you .. I miss you so much you where my rock in my life kept me happy and safe for 26 years, Iam so sorry I just couldn’t help you one more time Iam breaking inside knowing that I couldn’t do anything. Well atleast you are in pain free and just sleeping peacefully waiting for me to join you. So I can get my cuddles in kisses again! You will never leave me I will never forget this but I just need to try find something to deal with it it’s gonna be hard very hard but I will do my very best as I know that’s what you would have wanted.. my heart is torn nothing will help that unless I get you back but I know that’s not gonna happen so Iv just got to deal with it and get on with my life and do you proud. I love you always mum and I can’t wait to see you again! Xxxxxx